(Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images)
Kristin Cavallari is opening up about one of the most difficult chapters of her life, revealing how her divorce from former NFL quarterback Jay Cutler changed the way she views pain, healing, and personal growth.
During the latest episode of her Let’s Be Honest podcast, the 39-year-old reality TV star reflected on the emotional toll of her split and admitted that the experience forced her to confront feelings she had spent years avoiding. Cavallari said that before her divorce, she had never truly learned “to love the hard times too.”
“There is beauty in pain and we need the dark to appreciate the light,” Kristin said while discussing the lessons she took from the highly publicised breakup. She explained that for much of her life, she tried to shut out emotions rather than sit with them, believing that staying strong meant never showing vulnerability.
“For so many years, as long as I could remember, I didn’t wanna feel anything,” she admitted. Cavallari said she spent years trying to convince herself she was unaffected, even when she was struggling. She described herself as someone who always put on a brave face, refusing to admit when she needed support.

“I wanted to push everything away. I was like, ‘I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m the tough girl,'” she said. “I was fine, I didn’t know how to ask for help, I couldn’t be vulnerable.”
However, Cavallari explained that her divorce became a turning point. Rather than continuing to shut down emotionally, she made a conscious decision to allow herself to fully experience what she was going through, no matter how uncomfortable it felt.
“I was like, ‘You know what? This is the first time in my life I wanna feel it all,” recalled the Hills alum. “I wanna experience it all. The good, the bad, the ugly, I wanna feel the pain. I wanna sit in it. I don’t wanna rush or run from it.’”
The TV personality said that embracing the pain instead of avoiding it ultimately led to some of her most important growth. Looking back, she expressed gratitude for allowing herself to go through the emotional process rather than suppressing it.
“Thank God I did, because that was where the majority of my growth and life came from,” she said. Cavallari added that she now believes difficult experiences often carry the biggest lessons, even if it is hard to see in the moment.

“The pain, and the hurt, and the suffering is there to teach us something that’s where we learn and we grow.” Cavallari and Cutler announced their split in April 2020 after seven years of marriage. The former couple shares three children together: Camden, Jaxon, and Saylor.
While the divorce was a major life change, Cavallari’s reflections suggest it also became a period of self-discovery. She now sees the hardship as something that helped shape her into a stronger and more emotionally open version of herself.
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